Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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