He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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