did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
