what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize