for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
