This is not my ceiling
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i've created a new STD.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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