dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
