i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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