Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize