You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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