i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
