She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
