just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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