Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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