So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize