I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
