hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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