Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
this is an emotional support booty call
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
