Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
