Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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