windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
there is glitter all over my balls
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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