They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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