then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
