I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
