I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
