"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
