So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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