dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
