his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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