I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
