don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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