he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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