I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
