you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
