As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
