dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm way too hungover for life right now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
