Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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