I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
