and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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