i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
