No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
