youre lurking in front of me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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