why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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