Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
