i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Bring me that man meat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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