I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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