Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
