this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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