You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
