Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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