I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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