Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
