dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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