I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
