do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
