You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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