Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize