I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize