What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
