Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize