Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
