I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
