Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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