Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
