Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
